Life that i used to have before

Today i went to pavillion with my housemate...
i feel super duper sad...
bcuz i saw many nice pant,shirt,clothes n jacket....
i want to buy it buy my finance reject me...
haiz....
y i wil bcome like that?
y my bank acc almost bankrupt?
somemore my pocket money is not enuf for me to spent...
maybe people will sad i use alot money everyday....
but my answer is No...
i eat lunch dinner n sometime supper...
but i just eat' dai bai tong '
i really less eat kim gary...
even MCD n KFC also no money to go...T_T

I think i need to find a part time job edi...
life that no money to spent really make me so headache...
so suffer on it....so sick on it...grrrrrrrrrrrrr
i really dun know wher my money gone ....
is just like that money hav their leg n runaway from me T_T
somemore i very paiseh to tell my parent that i not enuf pocket money...
cuz im 20 yrs old soon...cannot always ask money from parent...
i will bcome very guilty on it...suppose i giv money to them
not they giv money to me.....somemore my pocket money is damn high
if compare to others...

i anticipating i can walk into starbuck and drink my fav drink cappuccino...
sit at ther serve net with my lovely laptop like last time ><
i really expect i can b like last time...
i can buy whatever i like...
i can go the place wharever i wan~
arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
perharp the day i expect come soon...

Start from today my church want us to fast meal....
i so glad that i can join too....
i hope that i can tahan the hungry feel...
wanna fast my lunch and supper ...
prepare my heart to the god...
Pls lead me to the life i expect ....

Study Hard

Recently I'm thinking bout my future~
i'm thinking that what should i b in my future?
i don't wanna just cincai find a job than work hard for it ...
i wan to find some job that really i like...
i dun want a low salary job...
i dun wan my life bound to a job that i dun like...
actually i am anticipating my future...
last time i was afraid to think of my future...
i was thiking that my future is black...or black and white...
cuz i hav no skill(got la ....abit la) , no interpersonal relationship
so that is quite hard for me to find a great job...

But now i think different ...
i'm thinking that i should not thinking those troublesome question...
and the right thing for me to do is study hard for my STPM...
my parent have been given so much of money support to me ...
i cannot let down my parents...if not i am a disobedience child (><)!!!
so i wanna to study degree ~
i don't wanna my school life just stop at my STPM level...
it is very unworthy to me and to my parent ><
so.....STUDY HARD STUDY HARD STUDY HARD ~
hehe..

Although now i'm abit old...almost 20 T_T
after my degree life is 23-24...
but i still wanna study...even though some of my fren
maybe already buy a new car,or even a house...
but i know that is worth for me to study..
cuz i wanna wear that ' square college cap 'hehe
somemore i am the only child in my family...
cannot humiliation my family ~

so i pray to the god...
take off all my idleness,indolent and laziness....
4 more month i having my exam ><
so must really really gambateh edi...add oil...
fight for my ptptn for degree...hehe

气球

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任你选择

黑的白的红的黄的
紫的绿的蓝的灰的
你的我的他的她的
大的小的圆的扁的
好的坏的美的丑的
新的旧的各种款式各种花色任我选择

飞的高高越远越好
剪断了线它就死掉
寿命短短高兴就好
喜欢就好没大不了
越变越小越来越小
快要死掉也很骄傲

你不想说就别再说
我不想听不想再听
就把一切誓言当作汽球一般随它而去
我不在意不会在意放它而去随它而去

气球
飘进云里
飘进风里
结束生命

气球
飘进爱里
飘进心里
慢慢死去

-end-

不懂。。。郁闷

今天是我不见笔记电脑的第3天了
我还真的以为我会没事。。。
原来这只是我隐瞒自己的动作。。
我真的为了我自己的笔记电脑不见难过了。。
不想去埋怨抱怨那个贼。。。
因为我知道就算这样做
我的笔记电脑永远都拿不回来了。。
不想去开口和家人说。。。
因为不要让家人去负担了。。。
自己又没有能力买。。。
现在又不能工作。。。
我现在都不懂可以做些什么了
我唯一一个可以陪我过时间的东西没了。。
每晚就是发呆+发呆吧。。。
郁闷~

不幸

我的家（Wangsa Maju)被进贼

笔记电脑被偷了。。。。

RM 2400 不见了~

SORRY TO YOU ALL

I was cry in my car jz now....
i was emo in my room jz now....
cuz until today i only realized i was wrong...
i did so many wrong things in my life....
i hurt people feeling...
i broke the friendship i used to have
i make a big missunderstood for my friend....

I got a special gift from the god....
but i used it by a wrong way....
i used it by getting ppl attention...
i used it by my happiness
i fooling people around...
my talent bcome a weapon that can destroy the relationship...
i was suck n i was a jerk....

But i really know the god is love me...
i really appreciate that god send his salve to save me
bring me to life...cheer me up...
thx alot...

so now i wanna to say to u all guys...
i really so sorry that what i did last time
i really said this out by my true heart...
i know things happen ...than that is edi happen...
no turning back edi
i know i cannot change any things now
but i really wanna to say SORRY to u all...
for what i did wrong...
SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

我的选择

最近想了很多很多的事
脑袋也清醒了很多。。。
我在想，
如果我们没有什么烦恼那该有多好啊
如果大家都在一起那该有多好啊
如果什么事都没有发生那该有多好啊

但我知道是不可能的。。
人生不能只停留在那个你以为是美好的时段中
我只能说时间真的可以改变很多东西
它不管你是美好的，是丑陋的。。
它都能一一的改变。。。
时间越久，它就会在你人生中不停的改变。。。

可能你说这是好事，毕竟人是要长大的
你必须学会怎样才能放弃
放弃金钱，放弃你曾经爱过的他，
放弃回忆，放弃美好时光
那么你才能在别处，某个地方
找到另外一个天堂。

话是这样说没有错，
但是我们毕竟是人，我们都是由感情的
我们都不是电脑，说delete 就 delete...
所以到最后我们就必须做出这世上最残酷的事
那就是你必须选择。。。
我觉得选择是最可怕的事。。。。

你必须把你觉得是第二的东西丢掉。。。
就算你是爱他的，你是曾经珍惜过他的。。
你都必须学会选择，然后放弃。。
因为我真的觉得，你不能同时吃苹果，然后又吃橙
我以前我觉得我可以做到。。。但是我现在渐渐觉得不能了

我知道如果我被人当第二是很伤心的。。。
但是有时候，我们就是必须做出残忍的东西。。。
路不同不相为谋。。。
我想这句话的意识是这样。。。
我想这就是我们青少年的烦恼吧~
你做了你的选择
我也做了我的选择
我说啊。。。其实大家都是一样
到最后大家就会做出埋怨对方的事，
然后恨就是从自己的心里慢慢生出来。。

轻微的就大家隔住一幅墙
严重的就大家不在联络
然后到某一天别人问起就说
我们根本没有生气过对方阿
但是就是不会主动说对不起。。。
不是吗？？

我觉得大部分的人就是这样
我自己也不例外啦
所以我选择了一个没有压力的地方
一个可以让我可以呼吸的地方。。
一个可以让我开心地地方
一个是大家都有同一个目标的地方
一个大家庭

我现在很喜欢听到
‘WELCOME HOME’这句话
因为我觉得我真的回到家了。。。
回到我心灵上的家