My feeling in this few month

Tuesday...3am in the morning....14 october....ya....14 october...
i would like to share my little serect here...mayb can't said that is a serect...
but what i am writing now is what i am feeling in this few month...

something is truly make me feel tired and sad happen to me...im giving this stupid things disturb until i can't sleep ... had nightmare... person who close to me wil know what i had faced this few month....i really don't wanna post it out trough this blog but i really feel sad and hurt...so i try to post it out see i can releave me stress or not...

The story is start like this....and this time the title...
HAVE YOU DIE WITHOUT AN ANSWER B4?
sound silly right?ya...and this is really happen to me...
i still remember one of my secondary school friend said to me....
waaa...kok hoe...im so jealous u ...
i said y....cause u have alot of friend....no matter in school or not in school:he said....for people who so ego like me of cuz wil reply him YES...i have alot of friend...but who know my real relationship? am i really got alot friend?
YES i hav....but that was last time...how about now?haha....T_T

I am the only child in my family...lonely grow up...although my parents treat me so good but all human also wil feel lonely sometime....but lucky i found my friend in primary school...i really feel happy when i was going to school...cuz no stress at all last time....after graduted...we stil in the same school...so damn happy...i thought we can hold this relationship last forever...but...god won't giv u a happy ending...my friendship start to break after graduted in secondary school...

I choose those fren that attitude worse to broke...than i success...all my friend that serounder me is good...no matter in attitude or moral value...we always stick together .... watch movie....play badminton...go yum cha...and more more more...
that time i really feel so happy....i feel that we are 1 team...6 of us when we meet together wil hav alot of fun...laugh alot...do crazy things...but everything is change when i study stpm this years start from june...i move to hostel...
i din join yumcha few time...than something is happen....

everyone try to boycott me....maybe i should said 1 person influence the team...
i really don't know what happen...i try to cold down myself or ask myself stop thinking the nagatif things....although i know something is happen but i dun wan to think...i was scare...i was week to feel that...although my face does not show it out but i really feel scare...i scare that my friendship wil broke...but what i dun wan to faces what i dun wan to expect is totally appear in my eyes...

1 or 2 time small gathering din inform me i also won't mind...
but some big event big activiti u din inform me than i really know what is going to happen...i dun wan to mention what u did from me...i hope u know what u did it to me...mayb u wil not so care what i write here and keep saying or scolding me childish...but let me tell u...Dun simply talks bad words behind people...especially me...if not u wil know what i wil do to you....

You choose 1th september to end up this friendship...
try to influnce all people that im the bad guys that always hurt people...
u try to use one of the person to make ur words strong so can influnce everyone there.....
u try to pull me out from the team of 6 people...
u try to makes everyone hate me...
and 1 more thing that i really angry ...
u destroy my birthday party...
u destroy me everythings...

im not trying to act how pity that i am...i just wan to write down how sad and angry that iam...
u said im offrence u...than u not offrence me b4?
i help u i do so many things in the team than now i pull me out...somemore stil act like u the one who get hurt...hello man...don't play la...beh tahan la...

i keep asking me not angry .... but when i think back how i secrifice trough this team than my tear start to fall down....i angry myself y i so silly to help the team...y everything i do to urs n i get back nothing...do ur guys really forget what i did to urs?i dun wan to mention here...i really forget...not appreciate...not care..wan ignore...than let it go...

im so appreciate those who read my blod until the end....